


accept transaction?

by agaunstnazguls



Series: accept transaction? [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, References to Addiction, References to Depression, Sugar Daddy, Suicide Attempt Reference, That's right, YouTube, chat fic, enjolras runs a youtube channel for some reason, it sounds darker than it actually is, it's like 9 years lmao enjolras is several months away from 22 and grantaire is 30, surprisingly mild for a sugar daddy fic, text fic, there are other characters i cba to tag them, this fic is basically therapy for me sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-20 22:58:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agaunstnazguls/pseuds/agaunstnazguls
Summary: enjibabyI think pikachu is the worst pokemon and i have proofCAPITALRWhat*-*(or, that staple text fic where enjolras is a broke student and grantaire is a lot older and has some cash to blow. it's worse than it sounds)





	1. SHARE ENJOLRAS'S GOFUNDME

**enjibenji**

 

Description

 

ex-law student-cum-english major struggling through life. expect ranting, book talks, and the occasional vlog.

 

for business inquiries, contact me at: enjibenji@gdot.com. no sex requests please, that's illegal.

 

Details

Location: England/France/Korea

 

Links

Instagram//Twitter//Goodreads//Website

 

*-*-*

 

**caramelldansen** @enjibenji69

21\. third year. makes videos sometimes. mostly a bts account. (he/him).

 

PINNED TWEET:

A NEW UPLOAD: A University Q&A or, why studying in england is the worst (a testimony to being without money)

 

*-*-*

 

_**SHARE ENJOLRAS'S GOFUNDME** (10 members)_

 

so bb boy u given it a thought

and by 'it' i mean 'making an innocent profile on a sugar daddy website so i have enough money to pay rent'

before you act difficult with me

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

Jehan I refuse. I'm not doing it. You could pay me and I wouldn't.

But really can you pay me for it?

Please I'm desperate

**caramelldansen** @enjibenji69

 

do it enj imagine the vlog

'my escapades as a sugar baby'

i support you <3

also-- 'innocent' jehan

**caramelldansen** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

it is innocent courf!! i use it!! there are some weirdos but we meet weirdos ALL THE TIME especially in central london come on

remember that freaky dude in leicester who groped me at the bar that time and neighed like a horse??

also not naming names but someone else in this GC uses the same site and they could vouch if there identity were not a closely guarded secret

enj shall i just make it for you

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

I don't know if I can support this? Surely it's illegal

**mothman is real i saw him** @mothmanferre

 

baby if this is illegal then i don't want to be on the right side of the law

nothing gets me going quite like receiving 1000 quid just cause my size 4 children's feet look sexy in stilettos <3

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

Sigh

**mothman is real i saw him** @mothmanferre

 

Lets do it baby i know the law

**lets do it baby i know the law** @prouvaireit

 

lets do it baby i know the law!!

**lets do it baby i know the law** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

Let's do it baby I know the law

Yeah Jehan come round please I don't even know what to put as my display picture

_[mom come pick me up.jpeg.]_

**lets do it baby i know the law** @enjibenji69

 

enjolras you're a law dropout you know no laws

y'all remember when enjolras didn't know what a meme was? miss that era

miss when enjolras was boring so we could laugh at him :/

**lets do it baby i know the law** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

Eat my ass Courfeyrac

**lets do it baby i know the law** @enjibenji69

 

how are you somehow MEANER online?

that's not even a meme it's just fucking rude

also i can help with your profile :// i'm cute i know what daddy wants

**lets do it baby i know the law** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

courf please never say daddy again

I just watched Marius choke

OMW enj ily <3

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

Courf if you ever call that in bed i will literally kill you

**mothman is real i saw him** @mothmanferre

 

KINKY

Also marius can choke on me anyday if u know what i'm saying

**lets do it baybeeeeee** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

I honestly don't courf enlighten us

in front of your boyfriend

and your best friend

and your best friend's scary sister 

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

LET'S DO IT COSETTE BABY I KNOW THE LAW

**lets do it baby i know the law** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

I hope the profile set up goes well Enj, love you <3

And Marius is a bottom it's okay you're safe Courf

**cosette** @someonesangelcosette

 

Someone check on marius i left him he's probably dead

also it literally took like 2 words of ferre disapproving for Enj to change his mind we love a rebellious baby

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

Thanks Jehan!

You know I hate 'the man'

And people controlling me

Especially rich people controlling me

Maybe being a sugar baby is a bad idea? This is a mistake don't worry guys I'm not doing this all good!

**caramelldansen** @enjibenji69

 

trust me Enj giving up some control feels great

nearly at yours!

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

you're right it does feel great

what shit i meant to send that on private please ignore

shit

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

 

OMG 

but if I'M a bottom

and feuilly/jehan/enjolras/bossuet/marius/joly are bottoms

WHO'S DRIVING THE SHIP

**daddy** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

Isn't it 'steering' the ship

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

Chetta and I, obviously!

**cosette** @someonesangelcosette

 

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**chetta** @chettakhan

 

Ferre doesn't count as a top because he failed his driving text like 50 times and we all know only tops can drive :// rip

hehan i'm a lwyer trust me on this it's DRIVING 

**jen

**jean

**JEHAN CHRIST

wait I'M the driver in the relationship

wow maybe I'm the real top?

guys a revelation 

**daddy**  @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

 


	2. pikachu is the worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monsterdong69  
> I want to cum all over your tight little ass
> 
> Enjibaby  
> Blocked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this fic is dedicated to my best friend she's great thank you for reading
> 
>  
> 
> also content warning for some suggested sexual violence in this. it's not extreme but you know what people on the internet can be like. also implied bestiality?

**Enjolras** < [ **enjibenji@gdot.com** ](mailto:enjibenji@gdot.com) **>**

 

Dear  **enjibaby** ,

 

Welcome to  **Sugary Sweet,** the sugar daddy and sugar mummy site to satisfy all your needs! If you aren’t  **enjibaby,** please click  here .

 

Now that your account is all set up, enjoy seeking all kinds of relationships possible with mummies and daddies who are full of love. 

Have fun!

 

Sincerely,

**The Sugary Sweet Team!**

 

_ For any extra questions, all contact information can be found  _ _ here _ _ , or feel free to email us at  _ [ _ sugarysweetinfo@gdot.com _ ](mailto:sugarysweetinfo@gdot.com) _! _

 

*-*-*

**enjibaby**

m // 21 // sugar baby // london, england

**active:** moments ago

**joined** : november 15th, 2018

**name:** enjolras

**height:** 5’4

**ethnicity:** korean

**hair colour:** blonde (dyed)

**eye colour:** blue

**studying:** english

**relationship:** single

**looking for:** a daddy

**about**

I’m a 21 year old student from london completing his fourth year in english. I spend a majority of my time in and around the city, with friends and looking for inspiration for my creative classes, and organising small marches with my political group. Currently struggling to pay rent and support a dependent- my cat- after being cut off two years ago by my parents.

Willing to work out a quid-pro-quo, with an emphasis on pursuing friendship, but I’d be up for something more if we hit it off. Would like some sort of kink negotiation beforehand.

If you like my pictures, feel free to send me a message :) 

 

*-*-*

 

**Monsterdong69**

I want to cum all over your tight little ass

**Enjibaby**

Blocked

_ [ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BLOCK THIS PROFILE?] _

_ [ **YES/** NO] _

 

_ *-*-* _

 

**_OH BABY BABY_ ** _ (10 members) _

__   
  


1 minute in and enj has blocked someone

monsterdong69 strikes again

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

__

i’m crying enjolras i love you

**Daddy** @feyfeyfeybaybee

__

Thanks love you too

**mistakes** @enjibenji69

 

*-*-*

 

**CATMAN55**

Hello I will transferr £100.00 for every cat picture you will provide me

**enjibaby**

Sure

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

Is that okay?

_ [ACCEPT TRANSACTION OF £400.00?] _

_ [ _ **_YES_ ** _ /NO] _

 

_ *-*-* _

 

**_OH BABY BABY_ ** _ (10 members) _

__

£400 for cat pictures!!!

**_bts bitch_ ** _ @prouvaireit _

__

EXCUSE ME!!! THAT’S 2 WEEKS OF RENT WTF ENJ HOLY SHIT

FOUR HUNDRED FOR SUPPLYING SOME WEIRDO WITH WANKING MATERIAL HORSERADISH RAKING IN THE DOUGH

**Daddy** @feyfeyfeybaybee

__

oh my god

enj just blocked him :(

He’s literally crying saying he’s a bad cat dad

Goodbye catman

press f to pay respects

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

__

F F F F F F 

**Daddy @** feyfeyfeybaybee

 

*-*-*

 

**SpecialOne55**

hey baby what u mean by kink negotation?

**enjibaby**

Just want to establish what i am and am not comfortable with kink wise 

**SpecialOne55**

You don’t want me to cum in your little eyes? Fuck your tight little hole till you bleed?

**enjibaby**

goodbye

_ [ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO REPORT THIS ACCOUNT FOR  _ **_THREATENING MESSAGES_ ** _?] _

 

_ *-*-* _

 

**BECOMING A SUGAR BABY: A VLOGGING EXPERIENCE #1**

__

enjibenji

__

_ As you all know, I’ve been having a lot of financial issues at university since my parents cut me off two years ago (check out the video ‘BEING CUT OFF’ in my University vlog series for more information).  _

__

_ At the suggestion of a friend, I decided to sign up for a sugar daddy/sugar mummy website, just to test the waters and see if these things are actually legit. I don’t name the site for obvious legality reasons, and also to protect the information of anyone I may come across throughout this series.  _

__

_ I am not encouraging anyone to do the same; this is merely for entertainment, rather than the usual educational videos I produce, and if you want to DM on Twitter to talk more, feel free. I’m not an expert on sites like these and I never claim to be; I’ll be making a playlist on my channel of other videos created by experts, if you’d like more information!  _

__

_ Please research into other financial avenues if you’re also struggling with money: for me, this is a last resort. I talk about seeking help in my ‘STUDENT FINANCE, GRANTS AND BURSARIES: A BREAKDOWN’ video. _

__

_ Love you all <3 _

__

_ *EDIT: Any comments attacking people for their kinks/lifestyles will be deleted and your channel blocked. This is a sex-friendly space and I won’t tolerate any hatred, targeted or no.  _

__

_ I apologise to anyone who feels as if I’m laughing at them; it’s more my discomfort at the racism thrown my way, and the lack of respect given to my requests in my profile (that you have to read before messaging on this platform) that lead to quite threatening sexual messages. I will take more care in how I act in future videos!  _

__

*-*-*

 

Thank you so much for the shout out in your latest video, Enjolras! We’re so happy you found our channel helpful in your dive into this community, and greatly appreciate the respect you have directed our way so far as you become more comfortable, in spite of the negativity. We would love to discuss doing a collaboration! Melissa and I both live quite close to London.

**sinister sisters** @sinistersistersyt

Hi Melissa! Thank you for such a kind message, I’m glad to be doing this community no disservice and being judgement free about it. It’s been quite difficult sinking my teeth into it, but I have enjoyed the experience so far. 

A collab would be amazing! I’m free every Wednesday and Sunday, and I don’t mind travelling to where you are if that would be easier for you both.

**enji** @enjibenji69

 

*-*-*

 

**WHAT’S IT LIKE BEING A SUGAR MUMMY? A Q &A WITH ‘SINISTER SISTERS’: Sugar Baby Experience #3**

enjibenji

_ In this installment of the Sugar Baby experience, I talk to some long term members of the community about what it’s been like for them, and get to the nitty gritty of stigma.  _

_ We also did a video over on their channel, so check it out! There are some fun challenges and game, and things get a bit heated (all content warnings in their video).  _

_ Thank you Melissa and Janelle, you are amazing <3 _

_ Their Channel _

_ Their Instagram _

_ Their Twitter _

_ Their Website _

_ My social media: _

_ Instagram _

_ Twitter _

_ Goodreads _

  
  


_ CONTENT WARNING: We discuss suicide, mental health conditions and disorders, violence against women (including rape and assault) and homophobia/lesbophobia.  _

 

*-*-*

 

**PLAYING GAMES WITH A NEW BABY**

sinistersisters

_ We sit down and play some fun (+sexy) challenges and games with YouTuber and baby, Enjolras! Isn’t he wonderful? _

_ Please check out the video we did with him over on his channel! _

_ Channel _

_ Twitter _

_ Instagram _

_ Our details over here <3 _

_ Twitter _

_ Instagram _

_ Website _

 

_ *-*-* _

**CAPITALR**

m // 30 // sugar daddy // london, england

__

**active:** moments ago

**joined:** september 11th, 2017

__

**name:** grantaire

**height:** 5’10

**ethnicity:** spanish

**hair colour:** brown

**eye colour:** brown

**occupation:** artist/gallery curator

**relationship:** single

**looking for:** a baby

__

**about**

Argue with me for more than five minutes and I’m interested.

__

Willing to help any students struggling with rent, food bills, textbooks, etc.

 

*-*-*

 

**_HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS_ ** (3 members)

Give me a topic

_ [screenshot] _

**hole** @enjibenji69

god that guy is fit

i would

**bus wanker** @feyfeyfeybaybee

Not my type

Pokemon, Enj

**Ferre** @mothmanferre

Got it thanks

**hole** @enjibenji69

 

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

I think pikachu is the worst pokemon and i have proof

**CAPITALR**

What

**enjibaby**

Okay so first of all: his power? Overrated. Scooby Doo: Monsters Unleashed already did it WAY better

**CAPITALR**

Pokemon came out in 1996, way before monsters unleashed did, so there’s no way it could have done a Pikachu concept better

**enjibaby**

That date is true, but the original 10,000 volt ghost actually appeared in the original Scooby Doo Show in 1976, which means the show had already done the concept of a creature who can control electricity/lightning in some capacity

And before you ask, I’m citing the MU concept of the character because the Volt Ghost is way cooler and has that scratchy voice, but the Scooby Soo equivalent was already 20 years old before Pokemon original games came out, and then the cartoon wasn’t released until ‘97. 

Pikachu is a hack.

**CAPITALR**

Absolute bullshit. In the original cartoon the volt ghost was a man (the second in the show’s history) who faked his own death, so the actual powers were never real but manually made, while Pikachu’s powers are inherent. 

**enjibaby**

While that’s true, the man who disguises himself as the Volt Ghost still has that legitimate control over electricity that makes him dangerous. Regardless of whether or not he made the powers, the fact that he has them in the first place is what’s so amazing

Second point: Pikachu is only of the only pokemon to have ever hospitalised children. 

**CAPITALR**

Excuse me?

**enjibaby**

There was an episode of the original anime that only ever aired in Japan where Pikachu destroyed missiles and the red and blue flashing lights on screen hospitalised over 500 kids in the hospital after they had fits. 

Pikachu was DIRECTLY responsible for sending those children to hospital

**CAPITALR**

I mean, shouldn’t those who launched the missiles be directly responsible? After all, Pikachu only stopped the missiles, he wasn’t involved in the launch or the missiles being there in the first place

**enjibaby**

So if the US government launched missiles, and some superpowered individual’s response was to blow UP the missiles therefore giving a whole nation epileptic fits and potentially killing at least half with the severity of the blast, it’s the governments fault alone?

**CAPITALR**

…..Isn’t this the exact plot of the Incredibles?

**enjibaby**

Is that your only response? If so, are you interested?

**CAPITALR**

Interested in what, the incredibles? Missiles? 

**enjibaby**

No, in being my sugar daddy.

But I can keep talking about Scooby Doo, I have a lot more I could say on this topic.

**CAPITALR**

Oh, Right. I mean, I know literally nothing about you. Let me check your profile

**enjibaby**

Okay

**CAPITALR**

You run a political group, huh? Very idealistic

**enjibaby**

I don’t ~run~ the group, it’s a democracy, they just keep voting me to handle most of the meetings

And a majority of the finances, even though one of the other members is a finance student

And partnerships with local businesses

And i organise the nights out

I honestly think i’m being taken advantage of, now that I think about

**CAPITALR**

See, democracies don’t work. Neither does socialism, really

It’s all a scam

**enjibaby**

I think if more people were inclined to be less selfish then socialism could 100% work and be implemented into society as a whole

**CAPITALR**

Ah yes, but have you considered: people are assholes

**enjibaby**

I'm considering it right now, actually

**CAPITALR**

Hahaha, trust me, I get that a lot. Usually not on here, though. You're a lot more forward than a lot of the other people I talk to.

Also, kink negotiations?

**enjibaby**

Well, I’m not entirely comfortable addressing you as ‘daddy’, for starters, or being called ‘baby’ or anything like that just yet. It would take a while for me to have that sort of trust in a person.

And yeah, I'm kind of mouthy. Not really sorry about it though. 

**CAPITALR**

Oh, completely understandable 

**enjibaby**

Also nothing beyond standard flirting, for the time being. I keep getting messages from guys talking about wanting to cum on my baps and i don't enjoy those encounters all that much

**CAPITALR**

Come on your… baps?

**enjibaby**

Like cheeks

Ass cheeks

**CAPITALR**

Understood

**enjibaby**

Are you laughing at me?

**CAPITALR**

Yes

Is that part of your kink negotiation? No humiliation kink?

**enjibaby**

That’s a thing??? 

Wow

Huh

Not sure yet. I’ll let you know if it gets uncomfortable, but laugh at me all you want, i’m used to it.

**CAPITALR**

I just think you’re cute

**enjibaby**

????

**CAPITALR**

You literally started this by talking about why you hate Pikachu. 

Do you just know all that information off the top of your head?

**enjibaby**

I searched a couple of the dates up before I messaged you, but yeah, pretty much. I argue with my friends a lot about Scooby Doo and I really enjoy the Simpsons episode about the missile episode of Pokemon. It’s called ‘electric soldier porygon’, if you’re interested

  
  


**CAPITALR**

You’re thorough

What’s your favourite Scooby Doo film?

**enjibaby**

Either Ghoul School or Spooky Island. 

I know most people prefer Monsters Unleashed

**CAPITALR**

I’ll have to watch them

I was always a bigger Batman fan

**enjibaby**

I’ve never watched the original animated series, just the movies

**CAPITALR**

You should check it out, it’s good.

Please tell me you've watched more than just the Bale films

Saw you’re struggling to make rent. How much do you need a month? This also includes cat bills, I always support a man who loves a cat. 

**enjibaby**

Of course I have! The 1997 Batman and Robin film is my favourite, I loved Alicia Silverstone as a kid

I need 550 for rent and I spend probably 120 a month on the cat. But I’m only asking for half, I can make up the rest with my maintenance loan.

 

**CAPITALR**

You're lucky your cute, otherwise I'd stop talking to you for liking that film

 

**enjibaby**

Don't tell me Clooney doesn't get your dick wet

 

**CAPITALR**

Jesus

_ [ACCEPT TRANSITION OF £1000.00?] _

_ [YES/ _ **_NO_ ** _ ] _

**enjibaby**

Holy shit that’s way too much

**CAPITALR**

Buy yourself something nice with the extra. Like the Batman series, or some Scooby Doo merchandise. Educate yourself on good Batman content. 

Seriously, I know what it’s like to be a struggling student. And I was an art student too, it can get rough, living in central London, having to pay rent for a flat. I only have the money to do this now because my job pays well and I got a lot of inheritance when family members died. Think nothing of it. 

**enjibaby**

more to add to my Velma shrine, i guess

Are you sure?

**CAPITALR**

Yes. You’re cute, and I want to help you. 

**enjibaby**

….okay

_ [ACCEPT TRANSACTION OF £1100.00?] _

**_[YES/_ ** _ NO] _

**enjibaby**

Thank you, i really appreciate it. Also don't think I didn't notice you adding 100, I'll remember that 

  
  


**CAPITALR**

Am I your first successful sugar daddy meeting then?

Wait 

Sugar…. Parent? Supporter? 

**enjibaby**

No

You’re just the first who didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. I accidentally sent a guy pictures of my cat and I think he wanted them for sexual reasons so that was the worst!

Sugar daddy is fine, just don’t expect me to go around calling you daddy just yet

There’s way too much personal trauma to unpack there

**CAPITALR**

I understand

If it’s okay with you, I’d like to get to know you more. Might make you feel more comfortable too. 

**enjibaby**

I

Okay

Yeah, sure, that would be nice

**CAPITALR**

So, what’s your stance on brexit?

**enjibaby**

Holy shit where to start

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjolras's handle 'enjibenji' is actually a reference to the hit 2002-2004 UK kid's cartoon engie benjy, characters voiced by ant and dec. 
> 
>  
> 
> i cannot tell you how much time i spent researching the 10000 volt ghost and pikachu. i don't hold the same anti-pikachu stance, but i can confirm i love scooby doo more than most other cartoons and the opinions on which scooby doo films are the best are completely my own.


	3. please stop stealing from lush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i just want someone to look after me  
> hold me  
> buy me nice things so i can stop stealing from lush  
> help with increasing the amount of bees in the world by donating to charity  
> you know  
> the basics. i want a provider. but i also want my ass slapped
> 
> Oh honey @prouvaireit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an IMMEDIATE follow up to the previous chapter it's self-care

**_Oh no. oh dear. Is that a weed?_ ** _(10 members)_

 

I just felt like saying ‘for 1.69 this ass could be allll yours’, you know?

i just want someone to look after me

hold me

buy me nice things so i can stop stealing from lush

help with increasing the amount of bees in the world by donating to charity

you know

the basics. i want a provider. but i also want my ass slapped

 **Oh honey** @prouvaireit

 

holy shit jehan please stop stealing from lush 

You’re literally admitting to being a thief in a group chat full of lawyers

 **Dinky** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

Never >:c

 **Oh honey** @prouvaireit

 

Courf rnt u th only lwyr hr?

 **Marius :D** @p0ntmrcy500

 

Wait

WAIT

YEAH

HOW DID THAT HAPPENED

 **Dinky** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

enjolras dropped out and joined the dark side

Arts-humanities students rule lawyers and medicine students drool

 **Oh honey** @prouvaireit

 

incorrect, drop outs are the best

 **BAWSI** @cobossuetti

 

*blows a kiss* love you baby <3

 **Chetta** @chettakhan

 

You both really say that after I’ve patched Bossuet up how many times? Feeling unappreciated in my own home :(

 **Jolllly** @jollllllly90210

 

Wait no baby i’m sorry!!!! I’ll make it up to you

 **BAWSI** @cobossuetti

 

Me too ;)

 **Chetta** @chettakhan

 

I think that guy is my sugar daddy now???

Oh hey

Jehan please stop stealing from lush

If you need something i’ll buy it for you

 **happy** @enjibenji69

  


DEETS DEETS DEETS

Pics bb pls i’m desperate i’m so happy for you <3 <3 <3

omg enj is my sugar daddy now!!

 **Oh honey** @prouvaireit

  


*-*

 

This was his bio

_[screenshot]_

So I messaged him and engaged in a perfectly reasonable argument about why pikachu is the worst pokemon

And why Scooby Doo is the best 

Which obviously lasted for more than five minutes because I’m nothing if not thorough with my arguments, ESPECIALLY those relating to Mr Doo

He agreed to kink negotiation with me

And then he transferred £1100 to me and we’ve been talking since? About horseradish mostly. And brexit

 **happy** @enjibenji69

 

Oh my god he’s still talking to you after a whole convo about brexit???? Bb i think he might be the one???

Also you’re right about pikachu but i have to disagree kirby is the best not scoo b :///

WAIT 

WAIT

WAIT

1000!!!! TH’AT COVERS RENT!!! AND FOOD!!!! AND HORSERADISH!!! 

 **Oh honey** @prouvaireit

 

Yup

I couldn’t believe it I nearly didn’t accept it

But I’ve put the money away for rent and food and horseradish, and i think I have enough left over to maybe buy some new shoes?

Would you like anything?

 **happy** @enjibenji69

 

enji you silly bitch always accept money from the rich man you literally taught me this

omg can i come w/ u to buy shoes!!!

and are you sure it’s ur money i don’t wanna filch :/

but if so can we….. go lush

 **Oh honey** @prouvaireit

 

Of course jehan you’ve helped me a lot and it’ll be therapeutic for us both

Are you even allowed in lush anymore?

 **happy** @enjibenji69

 

um duh ofc 

they’ll never take me alive!!!

Robin hood ily so much <3 <3 <3 

 **Oh honey** @prouvaireit

 

To be honest with how lush workers are it wouldn’t surprise me if they did murder people

<3 <3 <3

 **happy** @enjibenji69

 

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

I had some money left over so I’m taking one of my friends shopping in Lush

Is that okay?

 

**CAPITALR**

Of course! If that’s what makes you happy. 

Would you like some more money?

For clothes

or … bathbombs? That’s what Lush sells right?

 

**enjibaby**

No it’s okay thank you though! I’m just buying a new pair of shoes 

Mine are disgusting

_[image]_

My friend saw your message and he looks horrified

He spends most of his time stealing from Lush so the idea that someone doesn’t know what’s sold at Lush is worse than murder to him

 

**CAPITALR**

Worse than stealing? Does he need money too? 

Also those shoes…. Jesus. They remind me of an old pair I used to wear in secondary school

Look i’m going to send you more money and please accept it, okay? Buy yourself a couple of pairs of shoes

 

**enjibaby**

I

Ok

Also my friend hit me for the lush comment

He only steals from lush and he stole a marc jacobs bag ONCE but that’s it, to clarify

It was one of those totes that are like £300

He’s actually got it now 

_[image]_

And yes he needs money, but he’d just steal anyway. He likes the rush.

 

_[ACCEPT TRANSACTION OF £1000.00?]_

**_[YES_ ** _/NO]_

 

**enjibaby**

Thank you! Jehan says thank you too

 

**CAPITALR**

No problem. Let me know what you buy :)

 

*-*

 

**enjibaby**

_[video]_

ur welcome ;)

 

*-*

 

**enjibaby**

Holy shit please don’t open that video! Jehan took my phone! 

[[ _image_ ]](https://www.asos.com/converse/converse-chuck-taylor-hi-platform-floral-print-trainers/prd/11530622?clr=strawberry-jam-white&colourWayId=16330110&SearchQuery=&cid=4172)

_[[image](https://www.asos.com/buffalo/buffalo-london-classic-extreme-flatform-trainers-in-black/prd/10378302?clr=black-01&colourWayId=15115237&SearchQuery=&cid=4172)] _

_[image]_

_[image]_

What do you think?

 

**enjibaby**

Wait it’s a week day you are most definitely working, ignore that please.

I hope work is going well

 

*-*-*

**CAPITALR**

Watched the video. The look of fear on your face when that woman rounded the corner was really something. 

 

**enjibaby**

It was so embarrassing 

She went bright red and pretended she didn’t see anything but her daughter was there and she kept laughing at us

Also Jehan ended up stealing earrings so we can never go back there again

 

**CAPITALR**

Jehan can’t be stopped

I really like the floral converse and the multi coloured vans, what would you wear them with? I only ever dark clothes so I’m not sure what colours go together.

The platforms seem a bit… excessive.

 

**enjibaby**

Platforms make me feel tall. Like i could kill a man. Break his neck. 

I ended up going with the floral converse and the faux leather oxford shoes

Would wear the floral shoes with this outfit 

_[image]_

And the oxford shoes with this one, or with a tight suit to a sophisticated brunch with rich people I want to con out of their money

_[image]_

Sorry about the rich people comment!

 

**CAPITALR**

Don’t worry I completely understand. Eat the rich, and all that. It’s the least I can do giving back so I hope I get a pass before the guillotine?

Did Jehan buy anything nice? Or just steal earrings?

 

**enjibaby**

Honestly the worst part about the earrings is that the pack was down from £15 to £3 and he just stole them anyway. I didn’t even realise until we got out of the store and he started trying them on in McDonalds

Also you BARELY pass, but ill allow it. We won’t guillotine you in the revolution straight away, but you're on thin ice

He bought himself some bath bombs, a lip scrub and a new hoodie

I bought some clothes too

 

**CAPITALR**

Thank you for your kind words, i’m glad to be keeping my head

….did you buy the shorts?

 

**enjibaby**

Wouldn’t you like to know

I’ll send pictures when I’m home, Jehan and I are still eating

 

**CAPITALR**

Did you really go to McDonalds after I gave you all that money?

 

**enjibaby**

Hey! It’s the first time in months I’ve been able to have a takeaway /i/ paid for, McDonalds is the best

Treats its servers like shit and I’m going to infiltrate the whole company to destroy it eventually

But it has good food

 

**CAPITALR**

Good food? You really are a university student

I worked in McDonalds for about a month. I quit after nearly getting stabbed

I don’t know why I thought working in Croydon was a good idea

 

**enjibaby**

Croydon?! Congrats on being alive i guess wow

What job do you do now? 

 

**CAPITALR**

You mean what job pays well enough that I can give broke university students enough money to pay rent?

 

**enjibaby**

Youre putting words in my mouth! I’m genuinely just curious

 

**enjibaby**

You don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfy, it’s fine.

  


**CAPITALR**

Don’t worry you haven’t made me uncomfortable, just figuring out how to explain

'uncomfy', that's cute

 

**CAPITALR**

Okay

So my main job is working as a curator at a gallery. It’s a high salary job, and I’ve worked it for a while, so I get over £5000 a month. I’ve also been doing my own work and selling it since I was young, which means I have a lot of savings by this point. 

In terms of how I got all the money to begin saving what I earn, when I was a lot younger my parents both died, but I only obtained access to their accounts when both my grandparents passed away when I’d finished my undergrad. They tried to write me out of my parent’s wills so they could pass the money on to their other grandchildren, because I’m technically adopted. 

 

**enjibaby**

I’m adopted too!

Wait no first: I’m sorry, that’s so terrible and your grandparents are the worst for putting you through that, sucks for them, glad they’re dead

Unless you actually loved them then i’m sorry

I don’t know why i typed i’m glad they’re dead

 

*-*-*

 

enj just panicked and told his sugar daddy he’s glad his parents are dead

how did this happen

 **Oh honey @** prouvaireit

 

I SAID I’M GLAD HIS GRANDPARENTS ARE DEAD NOT HIS PARENTS

 **really bad boy** @enjibenji69

  


HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER

ONLY ENJOLRAS WHAT A NIGHTMARE MAN

 **Woody** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

He also said something very similar to Marius at his granddad’s funeral

Marius cried

 **cosette** @someonesangelcosette

 

njlrs sd srry!!!! s ok!!!

 **marius :D** @p0ntmrcy500

 

Baby i love you but please get your phone fixed

 **cosette** @someonesangelcosette

 

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

Grantaire please respond i’m so sorry i don’t have a filter 

I said that at my sister’s boyfriend’s granddad’s funeral too 

He’s like the sweetest guy and he cried and everything i felt so bad

 

**CAPITALR**

It’s okay I’m just crying with laughter, my coworkers are staring at me through my office windows

Please don’t worry about it my grandparents were assholes, I wouldn’t say I’m glad they’re dead but I can’t fault you for saying it

And it’s not like I didn’t get all my parent’s money once they were gone

They died in a car accident

 

**enjibaby**

Did you cause the accident?

Oh my god why did i say THAT

Jehan is just screaming in mcdonalds i’m going to go

 

**CAPITALR**

_[image]_

It’s okay do what you need to do this is the most I’ve laughed in a long time

My coworker just walked in and asked what’s wrong

I think i’m about to pass out

Also to clarify, you’re referring to the accident that killed my grandparents, right?

 

**enjibaby**

yesyesyes NOT your parents i’m so sorry i need to go right now

 

*-*

  


**EMBARRASSING MYSELF AND CLOTHES SHOPPING: Sugar Baby Experience #6**

 

enjibenji

 

_In this video, I finally get to know a more long-term sugar daddy, and do some clothes shopping with a special guest! I’m also a tool, but what’s new there?_

 

_Like I said in the video, my next video is going to be a dissertation update, so leave some questions in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer them. My next upload is going to be a long review video talking about some of the things I’ve read recently._

 

_My social media:_

_Instagram_

_Twitter_

_Goodreads_

*-*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my characterisation of enjolras is that he's just really awkward and bad at talking to people. he has no filter. if you disagree take it up with my lawyer


	4. god speed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [screenshot]
> 
> This is flirty right?
> 
> enjolrash @enjibenji69
> 
>  
> 
> oh boy
> 
> feuilly @feelmyfury

**_y’all eat ass_ ** (10 members)

 

okay who changed the group name

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

 

Not me I was out all day shopping yesterday and i slept over at jehan’s

_ [image] _

Jehan stole earrings

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

they look great babe but they’d look even better if they weren’t STOLEN

where was my invite enj :(

**y’all eat ass** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

did enjolras just air me lmao

**y’all eat ass** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

no he’s just trying on clothes!!! we still at my flat i’m taking pics to send to his sugar daddy

he looks Hot

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

sec c beast over here

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

they are the tiniest shorts i’ve ever seen

and that’s saying something

because i own these

_ [image] _

**:/** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

You okay courf???

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

Yeah i’m good my lecture about to start tho :/// 

See y’all later

**:/** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

ok have a good time bb <3

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

*-*-*

 

**_little babies_ ** (3 members)

 

Okay enj i don’t want to make you panic

But

Have you told your sugar daddy about the fact that you’re making a youtube series? 

Its just i’m guessing you’ll be talking about him so maybe double check he’s cool with that?

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

 

oh shit

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING 

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

 

God speed

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

 

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

Okay so

I completely forgot to mention this

But i’m kind of making a youtube series about my sugar baby experience?

I reveal no details about who i talk to, the website name, etc., but it’s a very honest series about my experiences doing this

If you’re uncomfortable i’ll avoid talking about you on the channel

But

Just in case

Here’s  the link to my channel

So you can look it over 

**CAPITALR**

Oh.

Will have to watch when I get back home. Just avoid using my name and face for the time being please. My job’s secure, but you never know what could happen.

**enjibaby**

Of course!! I’m editing a vlog ATM but i’ll make sure to edit all your details out and only talk about the bare bones of it 

Also

_ [image] _

:)

**CAPITALR**

They look good 

Really good

**enjibaby**

Thank you~

*-*

**_little babies_ ** (3 members)

_ [screenshot] _

This is flirty right?

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

oh boy

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

WOOF the sexual tension

using that little ~ you nightmare

it’s been like a week how is it already this intense

send him an ass pic

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

DON’T send him an ass pic

Christ jehan 

Is this why bahorel won’t talk to me about you?

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

Wait who’s BAHOREL

Is this that guy you were texting? The sugar daddy?

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

Right this was before you were added to the chat

Yeah Bahorel’s my sugar daddy

God that always feels weird to say

We actually met through the gym I’m working at. He’s one of the boxing coaches and we just hit it off a while back? I mean I also live with him now too so we more than hit it off, but he’s been interested in adding someone else to the dynamic for a while and i just thought jehan would… fit

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

you should see him enjolras he’s so buff 

BIG hands. these super amazing dreads.

and ive always been into feuilly so it works so well

actually feuilly just sent you something

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

Oh that’s nice congrats to the three of you! 

Wait if jehan has a sugar daddy why did i pay for his stuff

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

I genuinely cant believe you sent that to him jehan holy shit

_ [image] _

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

JEHAN

You can actually see everything

When did you start getting waxed again?

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

A week ago!!! want me to book an appointment bb? 

feuilly u want to come too??

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

Yeah please

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

You know what

Sure

If bahorel’s paying

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

!!!!!

I’ll ask him nicely ;)

You may touch it

~~

ONCE

Also enj forgot to ask

wtf is going on with courf???

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

was going to ask the same thing

He seemed kinda down earlier

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

I dont know

Things have just been really weird? I’m already awkward enough, but whenever we’re in the room together it feels like he’s forcing it with me

And its just getting to be

Idk

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

Too much?

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

Yeah

I’ll talk to him about it, but i just don’t know what’s going to come of it. I’ve asked him what’s up more than once but he just avoids the question

Can I invite him to get waxed with us?

Anyway i have a dissertation meeting now so I’ll talk to you both later

Let me know when the waxing appointment is Jehan

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

Oh shit i forgot i had a paper due 

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

OFC courf can come with us!!!

Baby it’s not due for another two weeks calm down omg

Aren’t you at work???? Just focus on that i’ll bring you one of those frostinos you like <3

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

*-*-*

 

if u ever need me i’m always here enj <3

i’m really glad we’ve got closer the past year

i genuinely think of you as my best friend now??? I don’t really have many close friends who really get me like you do so i really appreciate you

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

Same here

It’s just difficult you know

Love you <3

**enjolrash** @enjibenji69

Love you too <3 good luck in your meeting, just got out of mine and he’s in a good mood so fingers crossed MWAH

**bts bitch** @prouvaireit

 

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

Can i vent to you about something

I know we’ve only been talking a week (happy anniversary) but i just need someone to talk to who’s outside of everything going on

Is that okay?

**CAPITALR**

Of course, it’s what I’m here for.

**enjibaby**

Okay so i live with my childhood best friends, courf and ferre, and we’ve always been really close. Like friends-since-we-were-five close in mine and courfeyrac’s case.

Originally it was mine and courf’s big plan to open a law firm together, and combeferre was always going to be involved in something to do with biology in some capacity so he’s studying medicine. 

To cut a long story short i dropped out of law after my first year and started studying english instead

**CAPITALR**

That’s why your parents cut you off, right?

**enjibaby**

Yeah. And when I met jehan he was 18 (a new starter) and i was 19 (technically 2nd year but actually in my 1st year). We were never AS close, but the past year we’ve really come together because we’re always in lectures and seminars together. It’s like i realised just how similar we both are and we clicked

But since that happened courf and ferre have both started acting weird. They’ve been dating since we were 18, but this is the first time i’ve ever felt like i’m actually being actively pushed out. Like they don’t want me around? Which is why i started hanging out with jehan more, he was the first person i talked to about it other than my sister and they both said i should branch out and distance myself

so courf gets weird now about when jehan and i spend time together alone

I get he could be feeling left out, but they were the ones who started acting weird first. I’ve also heard courf crying to ferre a lot and i just don’t know how to broach it

A part of me feels like they want me to maybe move out and give them space as a couple, but i don’t know

And now i’m crying about it because i cry everytime i think about it

I dont want to lose my best friends but i’m also scared i’m losing a part of myself by only limiting myself to them

**CAPITALR**

I understand where you’re coming from. You’ve been best friends with these two since you were kids, but you need to understand- and it’s hard- that a lot of shit that comes with your twenties includes moving on from past relationships, including friendships. You might be trying to cling on to a part of your childhood that you need to leave behind. 

That doesn’t mean leaving behind your friends, but it might mean leaving behind what you guys used to be. They are dating now, which drastically changes a friendship dynamic and group that’s as big as your one, so the effects may only be reaching you now a couple of years after since the honeymoon period is over in their relationship. Courfeyrac acting strange could be jealousy over what you guys are having to leave behind as you enter your twenties.

It could be an issue between them two as well. Don’t blame yourself for what could be several things at once. 

**enjibaby**

i just really dont want to lose them

i know i need to change and we’re not the same anymore

but it all feels so quick

and that combined with having to leave school is terrifying

i dont know what i’m doing

**CAPITALR**

Most people don’t, Enjolras, but finding likeminded people- like as Jehan- could help tide you over. Have the conversation with your friends about this. It’ll be difficult, I know, but what comes after could make the transition just that little bit easier.

Not to make this wholly about me but. I’m not the same man I was at 21. I only kept one friend from undergrad and everyone else came along during my graduate days. I was technically around a much worse group than yours, sure, but I think it’s the same sort of logic. When you’re in the moment it all feels like this is the only thing you have going for you: I promise that there’s more afterwards. It doesn’t get easier, sometimes, but having that conversation will change things for you.

**CAPITALR**

You okay? Is there anything I can do to help?

**enjibaby**

no it’s okay thank you

what you said really helped

it’s just

i’m really scared

**CAPITALR**

This might seem a bit forward but would you like me to send you a voice note? I’ve been told by friends that my voice is quite soothing

It seems only fair after hearing your voice so much

**enjibaby**

yes please i’d really like that

you watched my videos?

**CAPITALR**

Yes, and I have some… opinions

**enjibaby**

Perfect

_ [VOICE NOT FROM  _ **_CAPITALR_ ** _ : 10:35] _

_ [VOICE NOTE FROM  _ **_ENJIBABY_ ** _ : 15:23] _

**CAPITALR**

Your voice sounds hoarse, are you sure you want to keep sending voice notes?

**enjibaby**

My hands are still shaking

_ [VOICE NOTE FROM  _ **_CAPITALR:_ ** _ 9:07] _

_ [VOICE NOTE FROM  _ **_ENJIBABY:_ ** _ 6:54] _

_ [cut for length] _

**CAPITALR**

Goodnight, enjolras

Sleep well 

**enjibaby**

You too

thank you

your voice is really nice

**CAPITALR**

yours too :)

*-*

**CAPITALR**

Found these amazing suede sneakers that might interest you

_ [[image]](https://www.mytheresa.com/en-gb/loewe-suede-sneakers-1042843.html?utm_source=affiliate&utm_medium=affiliate.cj.uk&cjevent=040311138e2411e982c300cf0a180514) _

 

 

**enjibaby**

I want them

**CAPITALR**

Please tell me you’re joking

**enjibaby**

deadly serious

**CAPITALR**

I’m sorry I can’t fund this 

**enjibaby**

what if i send another pic of me in those shorts?

**CAPITALR**

….no

I won’t be weak i respect you 

I already bought you those platform shoes please spend your hard earned money on something that doesn’t make you look like a designer elf

**enjibaby**

hard earned? I just ask you for money

**CAPITALR**

Takes a lot of hard work to be as cute as you are. 

Have to get back to work I’ll talk to you after my shift 

**enjibaby**

Okay! I have a dissertation meeting until 7 and then i have to do some work but I’ll let you know when I wrap up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> introducing: FRIENDSHIP ANGST, a perpetual theme in what i write 
> 
> to clarify, everyone speaks outside of what you see! don't ask me what the timespan of this is, though, i lost track almost immediately after i finished part 1


	5. it's a party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjibaby 
> 
> [video]
> 
> a final slut drop b4 we go in my door

**grantaire** @AGRart  _ (follows you) _

 

artist and gallery curator. 

 

PINNED TWEET: New Exhibition: Take a Virtual Tour of a Reimagined World (http://……….)

  
  
  


**baby no** @enjibenji69

 

  1. in crunch time. mostly a bts stan account. talks about books and sugar daddies. (he/him)



 

**baby no** i just bought something from zara. ZARA. for a night out. who am i? 

**+bts bitch** you’re the cutest goddamn baby in the world that’s what <3

**+bts bitch** we stan a rich king

**+baby no**    fuck the monarchy

**+bts bitch** you right you right i apologise sir 

**+cosette** !!!! wear it out tonight brother dearest i’m excited to see you  finally feels like its been ages

**+baby no**         excited to see you too! 

 

*-*

 

**enjibaby**

New sweater from Zara! 

[ _[_ ](https://www.zara.com/uk/en/oversized-contrasting-patchwork-sweatshirt-p00858008.html?v1=8369174&v2=1180350) _image_ [ _]_ ](https://www.zara.com/uk/en/oversized-contrasting-patchwork-sweatshirt-p00858008.html?v1=8369174&v2=1180350)

Did you follow me on Twitter?

 

**CAPITALR**

Yes. I like your videos, too.

What are you wearing tonight?

 

**enjibaby**

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

Which one do you prefer?

And I’m glad you like them! Was thinking I could do a vlog in the series where you choose my outfit/drinks/etc. For the day? Just for fun?

  
  


**CAPITALR**

The second one. I think the floral shoes contrast too much with the patchwork shirt. Maybe wear the jeans in the first pic.

Sounds like a good time, I’ll make sure to make myself available on whichever day you decide on for it

 

**enjibaby**

better? 

_ [image] _

Thank you I’d really like that!

Does this saturday work for you? I have loads of editing of other videos and my dissertation crunch is happening 

I’m only out tonight for my sister’s boyfriend’s birthday

But Jehan is dragging me out for lunch and some self care stuff on Saturday so!

 

**CAPITALR**

Saturday works for me

You look really good. I’ll send you some money

Even if you don’t drink much, buy yourself a McDonalds or something

 

_ [ACCEPT TRANSACTION OF £500.00?] _

_ [ _ **_YES_ ** _ /NO] _

 

**enjibaby**

Thank you <3 <3

I’m going to buy so many cocktails 

And so many chicken nuggets

 

**CAPITALR**

Enjoy angel xx

I’m working late tonight to work on an exhibition opening happening next week, but I’ll love any videos and pictures you send my way 

 

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

_ [image] _

_ [video] _

_ [video] _

**enjibaby**

_ [video] _

Jehan has arrived. That’s him talking about his sugar daddy. He said he feels like the kermit open ass meme and I’m too scared to ask what he means

**enjibaby**

Okay so apparently he meant this urgh

[[ _image_ ]](https://i.imgur.com/SsczIm1.jpg?1)

This is him and his (boy???)friend. I love feuilly so much he’s like my intellectual soulmate. I would write so many essays with him. Go on all the marches.

_ [image] _

  
  


**enjibaby**

_ [image] _

You mentioned wanting a picture of Cosette! That’s she

[[ _image_ ]](https://i.imgur.com/SsczIm1.jpg?1)

Oop ignore that its the open ass meme again

me @ u haha

**enjibaby**

jehan is throwing up lmaoooo we havent even met

left 

**enjibaby**

jehan threw up in the ta

takshee

Cab

Big uber man chucked us out and now cwe lost

**enjibaby**

we arrived

_ [video] _

jehan has the biggest libido 

his boyfriend is so red

_ [image] _

he started biting me :/// i look like a troll ignore my face

**enjibaby**

Argu with courf i’m crying in the bathroom

I hate him so much sometimes

o well guess ill just DRINK

**CAPITALR**

Baby are you okay? 

Make sure you stick with your friends. Is anyone there sober?

_ [ACCEPT CALL FROM  _ **_ENJIBABY_ ** _?] _

_ [5:49] _

**CAPITALR**

Be safe.

**enjibaby**

i like it when u call me baby

do it mroe

Mroe

MORE

_ [video] _

**CAPITALR**

You look really nice baby, but make sure you’re safe, okay? We wouldn’t like for anything bad to happen while you’re out. 

Make sure you message me when you’re home.

**enjibaby**

i will :) <£

 **** £<

fku

<3 big heart 

**CAPITALR**

<3

**enjibaby**

_ [video] _

a final slut drop b4 we go in my door

Cosette is staying with me 

she helped me in the bathroom

**CAPITALR**

Has Courf gone elsewhere?

**enjibaby**

He going to stay with comb

good riddance

**enjibaby**

I didnt mean that i love him i’m just sad

**CAPITALR**

I know baby. Is Cosette helping you get ready for bed? Have you had some pain killers?

**enjibaby**

_ [video] _

she patched up my legs and were watching cartoons 

i love her

we were separated as kids u kno

It was sad

Makes me sad we didnt grow up together

**CAPITALR**

Why don’t you go to sleep baby? You’ll feel better in the morning.

**CAPITALR**

I’m going to hope you’ve fallen asleep. Talk to you in the morning <3

**enjibaby**

Hi Grantaire! Cosette here, just confirming that Enjolras has indeed passed out. Marius and I are looking after him. 

Well. I’m looking after them both. Marius is a mess.

  
  


**CAPITALR**

Thank you Cosette, I appreciate it. Hope you sleep well thank you for looking after him xx

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

Feel like absolute horse shit. I’ve thrown up three times already this morning and Cosette is making Marius and I fry ups. Marius keeps randomly gagging whenever he smells mushrooms. What a mess.

Sorry about last night. I’m an emotional drunk.

To clarify

Generally I’m quite sarcastic and… mean? In person when I’m sober. I don’t have a filter and it just comes from years of having to do it to protect myself. I don’t really open up much to people, so when I’m drunk it’s like the floodgates are opened. There are some things I’ll talk to you about eventually but not just now.

**CAPITALR**

It’s okay, Enjolras, honestly. I got that impression from your videos that you’re quite closed off with some things, but I’m here for whenever you need to open up.

You were funny, other than the crying. 

Obviously it wasn’t funny when you were crying, I just wanted to find you and hide you away when you got upset

I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable

**enjibaby**

hah it doesn’t it’s honestly a relief. i’m not used to anyone wanting to look after me, it’s why i get scared by all this

You can call me baby too

If you want?

**CAPITALR**

Sure :)

**enjibaby**

>:(

  
  


**CAPITALR**

Sure

BABY

**enjibaby**

:)

Going to eat now

Talk later? Xx

**CAPITALR**

Talk later baby xx

*-*-*

**Getting drunk, I hate my dissertation & getting pampered: Vlog #24**

enjibenji

_ Hey everyone! University is kicking my ass, but what’s new there? _

_ I just thought I would expunge any negativity before it hits: when I state that my sugar daddy picked my outfit and the manicure I get, it was all completely consensual. I’ll delete any and all comments attacking me for the relationship I’ve decided to pursue. It’s personal and nobody other than me and him are allowed to make negotiations and decisions in the relationship. _

_ Respect my decisions, and kindly back the f*ck off.  _

_ My social media: _

_ Instagram _

_ Twitter _

_ Goodreads _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Spotify playlist I have for this series! I'll add to it over time.


	6. the supreme

**FIFTY SHADES IS KIND OF THE WORST- A COLLAB WITH ‘ALL THINGS BDSM’: Sugar Baby Experience #12**

 

enjibenji

 

_ It’s a fun  discussion this week as I delve into the Fifty Shades trilogy with All Things BDSM. In this video we cover the books, but if you head on over to their podcast, you can hear us discuss the first film, with the next two due out in the coming weeks.  _

 

_ Any hate comments will be deleted from the comments, and please refer to my wonderful guest using they/them pronouns. _

 

_ Thank you to Sam for coming on my channel in their YouTube debut <3 _

_ Their Podcast, All Things BDSM _

_ Their Twitter _

_ Their Instagram _

 

_ My social media: _

_ Instagram _

_ Twitter _

_ Goodreads _

 

*-*

 

**_BREAKING NEWS_ ** (10 members)

 

Hey everyone! So we were going to leave this until Christmas Day, but it’s literally impossible for Bossuet to keep a secret, and turns out we aren’t going to be back in the city again until New Year now because we’re going to stay with Bossuet’s sister. SO

Basically

I’m pregnant

**chetta** @chettakhan

 

Congratulations to you both what a total surprise :^)

**ferrarri** @mothmanferre

 

oh my god i’m crying what

I’m so happy for you three oh my god

**suga ily** @prouvaireit

 

SERIOUSLY

WHAT

I’M SO HAPPY

IS THIS WHAT COMBEFERRE WAS KEEPING FROM ME

**Courfeyrac** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

Haha yeah! Combeferre accidentally spotted me while I was hoarding pregnancy tests from the local pharmacy and was there with me when I found out a month ago

It’s why I wasn’t drinking at the end of semester party! I’m about two months along 

**chetta** @chettakhan

 

The biggest congratulations holy shit <3

Wait no swearing around the baby

**Courfeyrac** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

It’s okay i fell over the other day and made my nose bleed again and joly was screaming and swearing

Chetta just laughed and told me i’m a fucking idiot 

before she cleaned up the blood

My baby mama <3

**bossueti spaghetti** @cobossuetti

 

Congratulations from marius and I both <3 i’m so excited to be godmother!

**cossetti spaghetti** @someonesangelcosette

 

Can’t believe i’m sitting here after eating 10 packs of wotsits instead of doing my dissertation and one of my best friends is literally carrying a baby inside of her womb

**suga ily** @prouvaireit

 

Big hearts to all three of you so proud i can’t think of better people to be parents <3 let me know if you ever need any help

**engorlas** @enjibenji69

 

do NOT let enjolras around your child alone he will terrify them

The only kids who like enjolras are emo 10 year olds

**Courfeyrac** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

This is a direct attack on me

I don’t like it I’m a GREAT babysitter

**engorlas** @enjibenji69

 

Well done you guys! Do you know who the dad is?

Don't know why I said 'well done' but whatever

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

 

Well i physically cannot have children so

Hopefully bossuet?

**future dad** @jollllllly90210

 

LMAO YEAH

Muschietta is the real father and mother only a woman as strong as she can be both at the same time and still have two baby daddys

**future dad #2 @** cobossuetti

 

Oh shit yeah sorry joly!

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

 

It’s okay bb you can still be one of the six honorary godfathers!

Because i’m one of the six

Sorry enjolras i can’t have you ever getting hold of my child

I remember the incident with that kid at the march

**future dad #2** @jollllllly90210

 

HOW DOES THAT COUNT HE WAS LIKE 12

I DIDN’T KNOW HE’D FALL ON HIS HEAD

Also grantaire sends his regards he says he’s happy and willing to supervise me because he loves kids

**#1 babysitter** @enjibenji69

 

So he’ll have TWO babies? enjolras you can’t compete

Petition for enjolras to no longer go near any child

He was eight at MOST you’re lucky his mum didn’t sue

**Courfeyrac** @feyfeyfeybaybee

 

Damn fucking straight he can't compete

My kid is going to be the ONLY baby on the playground

I’ll fight all the other kids

**future dad #1** @chettakhan

 

I AM THE SUPREME (baby)

**suga ily** @prouvaireit

 

*-*

**enjibaby**

My friends suck

 

**CAPITALR**

No luck on the baby front?

**enjibaby**

No I’ve been banned >:(

It’s so weird they’re having a kid

I mean they’re both a few years older than i am but still only 24

**CAPITALR**

One of my best friends got custody of her younger brother and sister when she was eighteen. People just do things quicker than others. Life accelerates at a quicker pace for some people than others, we all have different priorities. 

**enjibaby**

True. I know someone in a similar situation

I just feel

Unaccomplished

**CAPITALR**

Baby you’re only 21, there’s plenty of time for you to accomplish things. Unless you keep eating so many mcdonalds, then your lifespan will be cut by at least 20 years

**enjibaby**

Don’t drag me in my own home you’re supposed to be my sugar daddy not a rich man who insults me. What are you, student finance? The guy who rejected my appeal by saying just because I think I deserve more on my maintenance loan doesn’t mean i’ll get it?

£10 per insult please otherwise i’ll zip your mouth shut

**CAPITALR**

Do it

**enjibaby**

SIR you’re playing a risky game you know I won’t hesitate!

**CAPITALR**

You like me and my money too much baby 

_ [ACCEPT TRANSACTION OF £400.00?] _

**_[YES_ ** _ /NO] _

**CAPITALR**

Buy Horseradish something nice for Christmas she deserves it xx

**enjibaby**

What has that cat ever done me other than betray me? 

Vicious little shit nearly ripped my eye out this morning, I hadn’t even woken up

_ [image] _

Here 

Because you love her more than me

**CAPITALR**

Hahahaha

**enjibaby**

Your laugh haunts my dreams

**CAPITALR**

You dream about me?

**enjibaby**

Sorry, I meant my nightmares

I always hear it right before you suffocate me or set me alight in front of the echo falls bottles in the ASA by my flat

*ASDA

**CAPITALR**

That’s really specific and a terrifying image. 

Echo Falls is disgusting

**enjibaby**

Oh what is echo falls not REFINED enough for you, Mr Gallery Curator? Mr Inheritance? Mr Fake Degree?

**CAPITALR**

Keep going baby, I know you’ve got more

**enjibaby**

Old man

Your degree isn’t even REAL, who gets an art degree and expects to get a job at the end of it?

What did you get a graduate degree in, being old?

Sugar Daddy to a 21 year old drop out

**CAPITALR**

I’m impressed

And I’ll have you know I got my degree at the Royal College of Arts, which is one of the best and the only arts postgraduate university in the world

Also, you’re not a drop out. You’re going to finish your dissertation, hand it in in January, and be done with it all. 

**CAPITALR**

Have you got any plans for Christmas?

**enjibaby**

Sorry courf got home we were cooking dinner

Well

Christmas day I’ll be at Cosette’s dad’s house 

So I’ll be staying over Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, but that’s it really. They’re big on gift giving because Cosette didn’t get a lot when she was younger

What about you?

**CAPITALR**

That sounds nice. Cosette’s dads sound very welcoming. 

I’ll be going to stay with my cousin and her partner for a few days before I come back in time for an opening in the new year. I’m leaving tomorrow. 

**enjibaby**

One of them literally arrested me when i was 16

The dads, not your cousin 

**CAPITALR**

What? You have a criminal record?

And yeah, I figured that, Enj, my cousin is a babysitter

**enjibaby**

Don’t bully me

They agreed to wipe it so long as I stayed out of trouble

**CAPITALR**

And did you?

**enjibaby**

Well…. they never caught me again?

It’s actually quite a funny story

Basically Cosette’s dad Valjean adopted her when she was 8 from the people who were looking after her. There were supposed to be two of us when he got to the place we were being cared for after our mum died, but they’d actually had me fostered and adopted elsewhere without telling anyone. 

Cosette and Valjean looked for me in the meantime, but I was untraceable because it was all paperworked so badly. Of course I was being looked after by the second worst pair of people in the world behind the assholes who looked after us for the previous 3 years of our lives

When I was 16 I decided to run away from home again

And when it was reported, instead of the police taking me home, one of the officers- since retired- said they should arrest me for worrying my parents

Only when Javert, the head officer, walked into the cell to question me, he went ‘Cosette?' and someone had to explain to him that no, I wasn’t his secret husband’s adopted daughter, but in fact a juvenile delinquent on the run from home

And thats how i met cosette!

**CAPITALR**

Why is your life like a modern day Oliver Twist? Only you’re less pure. It’s like if Oliver was also the Artful Dodger.

**enjibaby**

I’m pure. You don’t know me.

**CAPITALR**

You referred to yourself as a juvenile delinquent. You have told me multiple times you’ve been near-arrested during protests. You once punched a police officer.

**enjibaby**

So did you!

**CAPITALR**

This isn’t about me, baby, it’s about you

And me punching the police officer was an accident. 

Wait what did you say Cosette’s dad’s name was?

**enjibaby**

Valjean?

**CAPITALR**

No, the police officer who arrested you

**enjibaby**

Javert Valjean, which sounds like a fake name 100%. Formerly a French inspector, possibly a Russian spy, I haven’t found solid proof yet. 

Why?

**CAPITALR**

The police officer I punched was Javert

**enjibaby**

Fuck off

**CAPITALR**

Give me five minutes I need to see if Bahorel still has the picture

**enjibaby**

Okay

 i can’t wait to tell Cosette about this she won’t believe me

**enjibaby**

I told her and she said she can 100% believe it and also wants visual proof

Apparently my type is criminals

**enjibaby**

Wait 

Wait wait wait wait

Bahorel?

This bahorel?

_ [image] _

**CAPITALR**

_ [image]  _

_ [image] _

That was the first time I broke my nose

Getting into a fist fight and then running away from a police officer during the London Riots. I was only 23 

And yeah that’s Bahorel? How did you get that picture? I thought he was off Sugar Daddy websites 

**enjibaby**

Sent those to Cosette. You look very attractive covered in blood

One minute

**CAPITALR**

Thank you, weirdo. 

I’m not sure if I’ll be very happy if I found out you’ve been messaging Bahorel. 

**enjibaby**

Why? Would that make daddy unhappy?

**CAPITALR**

Are you taunting me baby?

And no, he’s just in a relationship with a guy and seeing someone else, so I’ll kick his ass for cheating.

**enjibaby**

:p

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

**CAPITALR**

where 

Where did you get those pictures

Oh my god

those are from FIRST YEAR

**enjibaby**

you must be flustered you're not capitalising!

Jehan 

Bahorel is Jehan and Feuilly’s sugar daddy

I have LITERALLY mentioned Feuilly to you. My platonic soulmate? Who I want to get old with and write academic essays with for the rest of my life?

And I have DEFINITELY mentioned Jehan to you multiple times

So not only have you punched my sister’s dad, you’re best friends with MY best friend’s sugar daddy

**CAPITALR**

In my defence I was very tired when you mentioned Feuilly

oh no

and bahorel said feuilly is friends with marius

Please don’t tell me you know Eponine Thenardier as well

I’m only just tying together the cosette/marius link too oh my god pontmercy 

**enjibaby**

You mean the girl who LITERALLY INTRODUCED MY SISTER TO HER SOULMATE

GOD GRANTAIRE

HOW MANY MARIUS AND COSETTE’S ARE THERE IN ENGLAND

**CAPITALR**

Don’t yell at me, that’s my job!

I can’t believe this Eponine is going to kick my ass

**enjibaby**

If you ever yell at me I’ll kick your ass, I hope you know that. I refuse to have a sugar daddy who’s an aggressive dom, I’ve seen pictures of feuilly’s ass

This is all terrible i don’t think i can look at you anymore

**CAPITALR**

Why me? I’ve never slapped feuilly’s ass!

**enjibaby**

Not about that! God i’m going to go to dinner christmas day and have to sit in front of a guy whose been punched by my sugar daddy

**CAPITALR**

Sir, your husband’s daughter’s twin brother calls me daddy, too.

**enjibaby**

I hate you

I have never called that man daddy in my entire life this is the worst thing to ever happen to me

How am i going to keep a straight face at dinner

Also how do you know so many memes? You’re thirty it should be illegal for senior citizens to know anything about memes

**CAPITALR**

I’m going to go before I start slapping your ass with my slipper, baby

**enjibaby**

_ [image] _

_ [video] _

**CAPITALR**

Wow you’re actually crying

Is that Courfeyrac?

**enjibaby**

we’re both crying courfeyrac can’t breathe

And before you ask yes we had a chat

He’s moving in with Combeferre end of the month so I somehow need to make 900 a month now which is kind of awful 

**CAPITALR**

….. Baby

**enjibaby**

Yes?

**enjibaby**

OH

**CAPITALR**

You’re lucky you’re good looking

**enjibaby**

I’m literally a genius leave me alone 

Courfeyrac is laughing at me now urgh

He said to tell you I’m even more of a moron in person which is insulting

I swear I’m intelligent

**CAPITALR**

You don’t need to tell me, baby, you got all firsts on your essays. I’m proud of you for how you’re doing. 

**enjibaby**

Thank you 

 

**CAPITALR**

Baby…

**enjibaby**

Yeah?

**CAPITALR**

Me so sorry :(

**enjibaby**

I’m blocking you

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HOW THE PIECES FALL INTO PLACE
> 
> there's a slight time jump this chapter if you didn't realise, don't question it
> 
> the echo falls nightmare is actually inspired by a recurring nightmare i have where i set myself alight in the alcohol aisle of tesco.


	7. delete

enj emergency are u in ur flat

**suga ily** @prouvaireit

 

Yes is everything alright? I’m just cooking myself some lunch

**enhikras** @enjibenji69

 

i’m coming over i need help ASAP

**suga ily** @prouvaireit

 

Kay kay will save some food for you

Its veggie curry

**enhikras** @enjibenji69

 

*-*-*

 

**enjibaby**

Um

Have you left for your cousins yet?

 

**CAPITALR**

Not yet, I’m still packing

Why is something wrong? Do you need help?

 

**enjibaby**

Not me? Jehan? Do you know anything about aftercare

 

**CAPITALR**

……… what

 

**enjibaby**

Jehan’s sobbing but I think he tried out some hardcore shit with Bahorel and he’s just a mess 

He left before any of the aftercare stuff could happen i think and i don’t know what to do?

I’ve only ever had vanilla sex taire i’m panicking please help

_ [image] _

WHAT DO I DO

 

**CAPITALR**

Wow his ass is so bruised 

Okay so first off no panicking. Try and be as soothing as possible. Once you’ve talked Jehan down from crying as badly as he is, get him to lay on his front and tell him you’re going to get something to help

Do you have any lotion, cool moisturiser or something?

 

**enjibaby**

Yes yes yes i do

I should grab some?

 

**CAPITALR**

Yeah and you’re going to have to rub it in softly, okay? Talk to him the whole time, try and be as soothing as possible, touch his hair or something whatever might calm him down enough to not be as overwhelmed. Make sure you ask before you do anything

After you’ve done that maybe ask him if he wants to watch a film, cuddle or something, grab some blankets and try your best to keep him off his ass. It’ll hurt more tomorrow but feeling the pain sitting down might make him feel worse emotionally now

Is that okay baby?

 

**enjibaby**

Yeah i’ll message you when i’ve got him calmed down thank you so much

 

**enjibaby**

Okay we’re good

I got him some food

We’re watching howl’s moving castle

_ [image] _

Would you mind not mentioning this to bahorel?

 

**CAPITALR**

Of course not, just make sure Jehan knows he has to have that conversation, okay? Even if he approaches Feuilly with it first

 

**enjibaby**

Will do. Thank you again <3

 

**CAPITALR**

It’s okay, baby, I’m just glad I could help you both <3

 

*-*

 

**CAPITALR**

I fucked up

 

**enjibaby**

Grantaire?

What’s wrong what happened?

 

**CAPITALR**

At victoria coach station, on the opposite side of central London to where I actually live

My coach had an accident and the only one I can get is in 6 hours at 3am but I have all my luggage here and I can’t exactly drag it all the way back across the city

So I’m stuck here, in a suit, have no cash on me for food, and can’t even use the bathrooms because you have to pay

Shit

 

**enjibaby**

Okay so I’m literally a 10 minute uber from the coach station why don’t you come here? It means paying for the uber and you might get stuck in traffic but if you leave with enough time you should make the coach

Can use the bathroom and I have loads of food? You can shower and change for sleep on the coach too

It’s up to you

 

**CAPITALR**

Thank you that would be amazing

Are you sure you’re okay with me coming?

 

**enjibaby**

Of course! Jehan’s asleep in my bed so i’ll just stay up with you on the couch :)

 

_ [ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SEND  _ **_LOCATION?]_ **

**_[YES_ ** _ /NO] _

 

**enjibaby**

It’s not even really a flat, it’s a renovated house sort of thing, it’s pretty grimy so just ring #3 when you get here

It’s a brick building cant miss it

 

**CAPITALR**

Literally half of London is brick buildings, baby

My uber says I should be twenty five minutes

 

**enjibaby**

I won’t hesitate to turn you away. I’ll stand there while you wet yourself, don’t think I won’t

And don’t you dare ask if I’m into pissplay I’ll definitely send you packing

Looking forward to it :) i’ll come and help you with your luggage

 

**CAPITALR**

Outside. Arguing with uber driver because he’s refusing to open the boot

 

**enjibaby**

I’m all righteous fury in a 5’4 frame i’ll be there to kick his ass

 

*-*

 

**CAPITALR**

It was nice meeting you finally

And Jehan

 

**enjibaby**

You too 

Jehan says safe journey

Make sure you message me okay? I expect loads of pictures too

 

**CAPITALR**

Coach just turned up made it just in time

 

**CAPITALR**

Enjolras, you’re really attractive. I’d like to meet up again when I get back if you’re comfortable with that?

 

**enjibaby**

You’re honestly the most attractive man I’ve ever met in person 

I am so glad you asked that 

I could literally see the outline of your dick i was staring at it so much i’m so sorry

_ [image] _

 

**CAPITALR**

Haha it’s okay I dont mind

Did you mean to send that?

 

**enjibaby**

no

yes

Maybe something a bit more dignified? I’d like to cook you dinner. Or order McDonalds. And then talk some more, it was really nice talking. And the kissing part again.

 

**CAPITALR**

I think I can manage that, baby, but maybe no to the McDonalds.

 

**enjibaby**

Rude 

When you call me baby I get so embarrassed

 

**CAPITALR**

It was cute, baby. You’re cute. Getting all red like that. And I liked seeing you in the sweater I bought you. 

 

**enjibaby**

Can i confess something

 

**CAPITALR**

Gotta hurry, my data is about to run out

 

**enjibaby**

I started calling you daddy as a joke but

 I nearly called you daddy tonight when you were helping me

It's sounds stupid but. I’m really into you Grantaire, more than anyone else I’ve liked

 

**enjibaby**

I’m guessing your data ran out

Goodnight Grantaire <3

 

*-*-*

 

**CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AND FINISHING MY DISSERTATION (FINALLY): Vlog #25**

 

enjibenji

 

_ I finally finished my dissertation and I am not going to look at it ever again (until it gets graded). _

 

_ I went Christmas shopping for gifts for friends and family this week. My next video will be all about my favourite things of 2018. _

 

_ Happy holidays, and enjoy your break. _

 

_ My social media: _

_ Instagram _

_ Twitter _

_ Goodreads _

 

_ *-*-* _

 

**enjibenji**

Hey Grantaire did you get to your cousins okay?

 

**enjibaby**

Grantaire is everything alright?

 

**enjibaby**

I checked the news and there’s been no accident are you just ignoring my messages? Is it about what I said yesterday? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable 

 

**enjibaby**

Grantaire I’m being serious this isn’t funny it’s literally been two days it’s boxing day I just want to make sure you’re okay 

 

**enjibaby**

If you don’t feel the same way that’s fine but just tell me i can take it

Clearly i got mixed messages or something so that’s on me but I’m not into casual flings so

Whatever it doesn’t matter

 

**enjibaby**

Jehan talked to bahorel

It’s not fine it does matter you’re avoiding me I’m actually just crying 

If you’re going to avoid my messages don’t ever contact me again I’m done

 

**enjibaby**

Maybe i am just a kid 

you’ve got this whole big life i shoudln’t hold you back

Whatever

Whatever whatever whatever

none of it matters

  
  


*-*

 

**Enjolras** < [ enjibenji@gdot.com ](mailto:enjibenji@gdot.com) >

 

Dear  **enjibaby,**

 

We’re sorry to see you go! 

 

We hope you’ve had a sweet time on  **Sugary Sweet.** Just click the  link  to permanently close your account.

 

If you ever want to join us again, the sign up is simple: just click  here  and you’ll be back on our servers!

 

Thank you for spending time with us

 

Sincerely, 

**The Sugary Sweet Team!**

 

_ For any extra questions, all contact information can be found  _ _ here _ _ , or feel free to email us at  _ [ _ sugarysweetinfo@gdot.com _ ](mailto:sugarysweetinfo@gdot.com) _! _

 

*-*

 

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

  1. mostly a bts stan account. talks about books. (he/him)



 

**enjolras**       hey guys! I explain a lot in my latest video about why I’m discontinuing the

                    sugar daddy experience, but I want to say that I don’t want it to deter anyone 

                    from pursuing something like it. It's a big decision, of course, and it's for 

                    personal reasons I've stopped. ½

**+enjolras**      Will explain more eventually but for now, thank you for following 

                                          along. I've made some incredible friendships the past two 

                                          months and I'm grateful for that. I'll continue to boost voices in 

                                          the community talking about this, and hope to remain close with

                                          those I've met 2/2

*-*-*

 

I did it. Suspended my account. When are you going to be here?

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

Right around the corner with Jehan, Bahorel is driving the van

I’m sorry Enj

**combeferre** @mothmanferre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that just how it be sometimes 
> 
> Twitter   
>  Curious Cat


	8. you're an idiot

**Unknown**

Hello is this Enjolras?

 

**Me**

Yes 

Who is this?

 

**Unknown**

It’s Eponine Thenardier. Cosette and Marius’s friend?

I know you’re busy helping your roommate move in, Bahorel told me, but I really think we need to meet. Are you free tomorrow? 

And sorry, I won’t accept no in this case. It’s important. 

 

**Me**

I guess

Are you sure you want to meet in central London in the lead up to new years?

 

**Eponine**

No time like the present. You live near Victoria, right?

 

**Me**

Yes

 

**Eponine**

Do you know that cafe by the coach station? With the murals painted on the side? 

 

**Me**

Yeah

 

**Eponine**

Does 12 sound good? Sorry I’ll have to bring my brother along, but it shouldn’t be an issue.

And if he messages you, please don’t tell grantaire I’m doing this

 

**Me**

That’s fine, I’ll see you then.

I suspended most of my accounts and blocked him, he won’t be messaging me

 

**Eponine**

Fuck okay

See you then

 

*-*

 

did eponine message?

**jehan** @prouvaireit

 

Yeah she did im meeting her at the mural cafe at 12 tomorrow

Is this a mistake?

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

I don’t think so

Bahorel brought it up to me first, so I think it’s important you meet her. He sounded insistent you go and bahorel is usually pretty chill so

and i grilled him dw she just wants to explain a few things

not like

Stage a dramatic reunion

Do you want me to come along?

Bahorel is telling me not to go but i don’t answer to him outside the bedroom smh

**jehan** @prouvaireit

 

Haha

No it’s fine i’ll be okay

I’ll get a mcdonalds first or something

Is it pathetic even mcdonalds remind me of him

We weren’t even dating

I hate this jehan

courf was right when he said it was babies first heartbreak 

I’m crying again

Phew i’ll be fine it’s okay i’ll talk to you later i’m going to try and get some sleep for tomorrow

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

Are you sure? I’ll come home ASAP

If it’s any consolation i’m happy i’m living with you now

Thank god i’ve moved out of scummy university accom

ily <3

**jehan** @prouvaireit

 

I’m glad you’re living with me too

Have fun with belated christmas stuff jehan i’ll be fine

I’ve had a lot worse than this

<3

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

just because you’ve had worse doesn’t mean it hurts any less

It’s a different kind of hurt enj

**jehan** @prouvaireit

 

I know

I’ll message you after I see Eponine

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

*-*

 

**Eponine**

Enjolras

 

**Me**

Sorry i’m late

 

**Eponine**

You’ve been sitting on that bench for 20 minutes. It’s -2 degrees. Come inside. 

 

**Me**

Okay

 

*-*

 

**Me**

Thank you for that Eponine

I’ll message Grantaire now

 

**Eponine**

It’s okay

I think we both have a lot in common, Enjolras

Nice to finally meet you properly too. It was like a flyby when we were kids. And it’s a bit awkward getting to know the twin brother of the girl I’m in love with, but I’m willing to move past that if you are.

Hah i’ve never actually said that out loud to anyone either

If you tell anyone I’ll kill you, I hope you know that

 

**Me**

Your secret is safe with me, Eponine

I’d like it if we met up again too. We have this little group get together once every few months, we have one on the 2nd if you’re not working? It’s 7pm at the Musain

 

**Eponine**

I’ll try and make it. 

And your secrets are safe with me, too, Enjolras. 

Oh thanks for the bus too

Really appreciate you scaring the shit out of that guy for me

 

**Me**

I’m all anger in a 5’4 body, Eponine

Tell gavroche i’m sorry!!

 

**Eponine**

He says he doesn’t give a shit about what happened and he wants to get involved in a riot again soon

 

**Me**

Hahahaha

 

*-*

 

**Me**

You’re an idiot, I hope you know that

 

**Dickhead**

Who is this? 

 

**Me**

Take three guesses

Go on

All I’ve got is time, Grantaire

 

**Dickhead**

I honestly don’t know. I’m not really in the mood for a stranger insulting me, so tell me who you are or I’ll block you

 

**Me**

Was I a stranger when you said you’re attracted to me, stuck your tongue down my throat and then avoided all my messages for a week because you were too scared of commitment?

 

**Dickhead**

Enjolras? How did you even get my number?

 

**Me**

Eponine

She told me I should start off angry then lead in to the sensible conversation to get it out of the way so I don’t blow up at you over the phone

If you don’t pick up I will literally find where you live and ruin all of your expensive shoes

Jehan will kill you

 

**Dickhead**

Okay okay just call me

 

_ [OUTGOING CALL TO  _ **_DICKHEAD_ ** _ : 01:01] _

_ [INCOMING CALL FROM  _ **_DICKHEAD_ ** _ : 35:44] _

 

**Me**

I still haven’t forgiven you

 

**Dickhead**

I know

I’m sorry

I’m not used to being held accountable for my fuck ups

 

**Me**

Yeah, well, my entire life is me holding myself accountable for fuck ups, so I’m sure as shit not taking the blame for this one

I’m still kind of angry at you. I don’t forgive easily, grantaire, especially when someone hurts me this much

 

**Dickhead**

I’d be more worried if you did forgive me. I want to do better for you. I said it on the call, but it wasn’t just the age difference that worried me, it’s knowing that with this whole dynamic we’ve got going on you’re relying me, and I don’t want to fuck it up

 

**Me**

Grantaire

You literally could not fuck it up anymore than you’ve already done unless you stab me or something

I’m not going to say ‘age is just a number’ because that whole statement is messed up and deeply rooted in some fucked up logic, but that’s something we’d be better off talking about in person

I want a relationship with you, and we need to discuss that in person. Are you still coming over new years?

 

**Dickhead**

Of course, I didn’t just say that on the phone, I meant it

Are you sure it’s okay? You’re twenty one, you should be out with friends

 

**Me**

I’d rather we talk this out in person sooner than leave it several more weeks. And most of us are still with family or working new years, so we don’t meet up until the 2nd

I would invite you to the Musain but it’ll be way too fresh to introduce you to my friends when they all want to castrate you

 

**Dickhead**

Jesus

Okay. If I’m distant the next few days it’s just because I’m neck deep in this exhibition opening. 

 

**Me**

That’s fine

Just make it clear you’re not avoiding my messages

Good luck xx

 

**Grantaire**

Thank you xx

 

*-*

 

**_mission kill grantaire 2k19_ ** (10 members)

 

It’s all sorted

He’s coming round to mine on new years eve to talk things out once his exhibition has opened at the gallery

Thank you guys for supporting me through this, sorry to have put a downer on your Christmas celebrations xx

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

Enjolras it’s fine. The amount of times you’ve been there for us over the years greatly outmatches the one time we help you fix your messy relationship

We’ve all been there.

**christmas torkey** @chettakhan

 

Are you sure?

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

I will come over and me and my unborn child will both beat you up for being so stupid

Of COURSE I’m sure. I’m pregnant. 

**christmas torkey** @chettakhan

 

The power you both have <3

**christmas choken** @jollllllly90210

 

I love my baby mama and my baby daddy and my unborn baby <3

**christmas borf @** cobossuetti

 

@mothmanferre can pregnant women still have sex?

**christmas torkey** @chettakhan

 

Yes. 

**furry** @mothmanferre

 

Hope you boys like turkey stuffing ;)

**christmas torkey** @chettakhan

 

Wow 

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i genuinely hate angst which is why it lasted about .2 seconds in this fic! miscommunication is a bitch and even it does make for good content, sometimes the adult thing is to just talk. be valid in your anger, yell if you need to at first, but also give yourself the time to have a level conversation instead of ignoring the issue.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are discussions of addiction (drug, alcohol) as well as self harm and suicide in this chapter.

**Me**

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

_ [video] _

Just for when you’re off shift at work. Those were taken over Christmas. Ignore my puffy face, I was just crying a lot

 

**Grantaire**

I’m really sorry

 

**Me**

I’m ignoring that

_ [image] _

Me and Eponine

Also found out I already met her brother at a rally before

He was the kid I dropped on his head

 

**Grantaire**

Gavroche is a nightmare, I love that kid

 

**Me**

Eponine is pretty great

We’ve been talking a lot, we have a lot more in common than first expected

 

**Grantaire**

I hope she didn’t slate me too much, she’s not exactly my biggest fan on a normal day

 

**Me**

Well

 

**Grantaire**

Fuck what did she say

 

**Me**

Not a lot. She just hinted at a lot of things that I had already guessed, about when you were at university

And before you get angry at her, she never said anything outright. I’m just not an idiot. I’ve known people a lot more fucked up, Grantaire, and I’m not going to dredge things up for you that you’ve left behind. 

 

**Grantaire**

So she told you I’m an addict?

 

**Me**

Basically

Can I talk frankly about it? Without it triggering you?

 

**Grantaire**

Yeah. It’s been a long time, but I don’t get cravings as often. 

 

**Me**

My mum was an addict. Mine and Cosette’s birth mother

It was heroin. Our dad was her supplier and that’s what ended up making her so sick. She got into prostitution to pay for us to be looked after, and it was only Valjean that got her into the hospital and helped him get to Cosette before something could happen to her. It’s lucky that Eponine managed to get her and her siblings away, is all I'm saying about that

Combeferre’s dad is an alcoholic, which is why he never drinks

Jehan used to pop pills and go out drinking every few days and he nearly died in second year. I had to take him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped and that’s the reason why we’re so close. Literally nobody else knows but us two and the doctors

Courf self medicated with sleeping pills for most of secondary school and only stopped when me and Combeferre interfered

I’m not going to judge you for it, Grantaire. Other people might, but I won’t

I wouldn’t judge you for being an addict- ex or no- the same way you wouldn’t judge me for telling you that I go to counselling once every two weeks because I tried to kill myself more than once in first and second year

If you relapse, or think you’re going to, I’ll be there for you the same way I was there for all my friends, the same way they’re there for me

 

**Me**

I actually pre-wrote all of that so I’ll give you time

I know you don’t really get my activism and stuff, but I just. Care a lot about people. I come across as a mean asshole but I do care when it matters. I’m sorry if I haven’t been good at showing that. 

 

**Grantaire**

Enjolras

You care for other people and never judge them and I don’t really know how to handle that. I know we’ve argued a few times about comments I make about your beliefs, and I want to apologise for that. 

I may not believe in all the same things as you, but I believe in you, and I think the change you make on your friend’s lives is a significant one, never doubt that. I just hope more people can see that some day. 

 

**Me**

Thank you

I’ll try and live up to that

 

**Grantaire**

I have to get back to work, but I’ll call you later.

_ [image] _

  
  


**Me**

Oh

Oh thats not fair

You can’t just leave grantaire 

 

**Me**

Dammit 

 

*-*

 

**Me**

Morning

Are you at work?

 

**Grantaire**

No, I’m boxing with Bahorel, why?

 

**Me**

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

 

**Grantaire**

Fuck 

 

**Me**

Enjoy your awkward boner 

 

*-*

**finally a whatsapp chat for our stupid asses** (3 members)

 

**Soulmate**

Hey

Bahorel wanted me to ask if you sent something to Grantaire this morning?

 

**Me**

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

 

**Soulmate**

Oh my god

 

**jehee**

I love you so much enjolras

I’m so glad you sent him those

You look so hot wtf

 

**Soulmate**

Bahorel is pressuring me to show him enjolras can i

 

**Me**

Go for it

 

**jehee**

_ [video] _

I’m in tears

tag yourself i’m bahorel going ‘bro’

 

**Soulmate**

He’s thirty years old and has two boyfriends he has no right to be saying ‘bro’ in any capacity

I’m Grantaire dying

 

**Me**

Two boyfriends? That’s great!

Grantaire looks like he’s about to have his back broken in two

 

**jehee**

Noone can resist this butt

_ [image] _

feuilly rested a drink on there the other night and laughed so hard he cried and then passed out

Also ENJ

Grantaire is so tall

I was literally out of it when we met before but holy shit when he hugged me???? a tall drink of water

 

**Soulmate**

Wait youve met grantaire before?

 

**jehee**

Oh yeet

 

**Me**

Oh my god jehan

_ [mom come pick me up.jpeg.] _

_ [sipping tea.jpeg.] _

 

*-*

 

**Me**

So sorry in advance 

 

**Grantaire**

??

 

**Grantaire**

Oh no

Oh no he didn’t talk to them

I definitely shouldn’t be here for this conversation

 

**Grantaire**

_ [video] _

It’s been twenty minutes of this. I think Bahorel is about to cry. He keeps saying he’ll never touch Jehan’s ass again he’s so sorry

Jehan is now sitting in his lap

They’re making out i’m leaving 

 

**Me**

_ [oh shit.jpeg.] _

You just got the adult-equivalent of sexiled.

 

**Grantaire**

As opposed to what? The kid equivalent being you telling Jehan he has to be out your University flat New Years Eve?

 

**Me**

Well it’s awfully presumptuous of you to think I kicked him out so we could have sex. 

I’m having you round so we can talk things out and maybe, if you’re lucky and I don’t throw you out the window, eat some dinner. 

Have some lingering eye contact and brief hand touching. 

I might even look the other way if you accidentally touch my butt again.

_ [you may touch it.jpeg.] _

_ [once.jpeg.] _

 

**Grantaire**

Look I swear I didn’t mean to touch your ass, that was an ACCIDENT

I went to touch your back and you suddenly bent over

 

**Me**

Your hand was way too low to be touching my back, Grantaire. 

Anyway, did you like the picture?

 

**Grantaire**

Please don’t I’m in a public place

 

**Me**

When else is there to ask? :)

 

**Grantaire**

You’re a dangerous man, Enjolras

 

**Grantaire**

Did you block me on Twitter?

 

**Me**

Oh yeah

Unblocked now.

Sorry about that.

 

**Grantaire**

It’s okay

 

**Grantaire**

You stopped doing the series?

 

**Me**

When it comes to relationships I’m a very private person, Grantaire. I realised that even if you never messaged me again I want to keep that part of my life private, so only me and my partner know the ins and outs of my life. I don’t regret the series and its definitely introduced me to a life I never considered, but the publicity isn’t for me. If we’re going to be in a relationship it’s just for us

And sometimes sending pictures of our asses to Jehan and Courfeyrac, because we do that, for some reason

Is that okay?

 

**Grantaire**

That’s fine. We’ll have to talk more about it, though, just to figure it out.

You guys just send pictures of your ass to each other?

 

**Me**

Yeah

_ [image] _

That’s courf’s when he sat on a nail at a party

 

**Grantaire**

Holy fuck why would you send someone that with no warning

 

**Me**

I did warn you. It’s right there.

So much blood

Combeferre and Joly had to take him to the hospital

I can’t wait till they graduate and become doctors, it’ll make our lives so much easier

Joly’s boyfriend Bossuet once smashed his head open on a sink at the ikea he works at

Oh, Joly and Bossuet are the ones having the baby with Muschietta

 

**Grantaire**

You have so many friends its hard to keep track of. I have Bahorel and, depending on the day and how she’s feeling, Eponine. Plenty for me.

 

**Me**

My friend group is going to drag you in so hard you won’t know what hit you, taire.

Also, I’m your friend :)

 

**Grantaire**

I mean, I would like to think you’re more than that.

 

**Me**

Grantaire, you have to at least consider a person a friend before you start calling them daddy 

Even if it IS in your head

I didn’t start calling Jehan daddy until at least 2 days into our friendship

 

**Grantaire**

I have met Jehan and the idea that anyone would call him daddy is hysterical to me. He’s terrifying, sure, but in a rabid dog kind of way. Like a chihuahua.

 

**Me**

That’s really rude. Jehan is a bee.

He comes across as menacing because of the reputation of wasps, but underneath, he’s just out looking for some honey. Let him be.

 

**Grantaire**

Is that what you tell security guards when he steals things?

 

**Me**

Let him be. He’s doing no harm. 

 

**Grantaire**

Haha sure.

 

**Grantaire**

Oh my fucking god I just realised 

Let him be

Literally how did you get away with that

 

**Me**

(◡‿◡✿)

 


	10. final bow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me
> 
> I was going to ask what you want me to get for dinner but I realised I don’t care
> 
>  
> 
> Grantaire
> 
> Wow okay

**Me**

hEY

 

**Grantaire**

????

 

**Me**

I was going to ask what you want me to get for dinner but I realised I don’t care

 

**Grantaire**

Wow okay

 

**Me**

It’s my flat, you eat what I give you and that’s that

 

**Grantaire**

When I signed up to be a sugar daddy I didn’t expect my sugar baby to verbally abuse me so much. 

Really though, anything’s fine, baby. I can bring something in if you want? I’ll look after you.

 

**Me**

Hm

As tempting as that sounds- and it’s very tempting- you’ll just bring something healthy over, and I really just want loads of snacks and chicken nuggets, so I’m ignoring your obvious attempt to appeal to the part of me that just really wants to be rolled into a ball and looked after

Will you feed me chocolate strawberries if I prep them now

 

**Grantaire**

Strawberries aren’t a substitute for a balanced meal, Enjolras

 

**Me**

Is that a no?

 

**Grantaire**

Fine

You’re a nightmare, sometimes

 

**Me**

Baby I’m a nightmare dressed like an even bigger nightmare

_ [image] _

This is what I’m wearing to Tesco and nobody can stop me

 

**Grantaire**

I love those shorts

But please put on trousers, it’s -2 out

 

**Me**

Cool, I’ll make sure I don’t wear them tonight then

Do you like my graduation hoodie? Class of 2015

 

**Grantaire**

Nothing makes me feel older than remembering I finished secondary school in 2007

Have you put trousers on?

 

**Me**

_ [image] _

I’m already in Tesco

 

**Grantaire**

And are you cold?

 

**Me**

That would mean admitting you’re right, which you’re not, so no, I’m fine.

Some guy is staring at my legs this is a mistake if he asks for my number I’m committing a murder down the dairy aisle. Will you bail me out?

Do you eat dairy? If so I’m buying this spinach and ricotta pizza

 

**Grantaire**

That sounds nice

And of course I would bail you out, I certainly have the money for it. 

 

**Me**

It’s £3.60. I could just die instead

 

**Grantaire**

What’s your bank details? I’ll send you money for dinner

 

**Me**

No it’s fine tonight is my treat. And technically I’m using some of the money you gave me anyway so. Whatever.

I’m also getting dough balls and mozzarella sticks. 

_ [image] _

The strawberries

Any chocolate preference?

 

**Grantaire**

Dark

 

**Me**

Nice, I’ll get dark and white chocolate then. 

Would you like

 

**Grantaire**

Did you get shot halfway through that? 

 

**Me**

it was just the creepy leg dude, I got him kicked out the store for harassment. The women who work here love me I’m their favourite regular

He touched my ass

Only ONE man is allowed to touch my ass

 

**Grantaire**

Jehan? 

Wish I could be there to see the look on that guy’s face. 

 

**Me**

Honestly I was going to say you

 

**Grantaire**

Yeah?

 

**Me**

Like I’d still go out in these shorts, nothing would change that, but knowing you were with me and all these people know they’ve got no chance is just.

Yeah. 

 

**Grantaire**

I wouldn’t try to change the way you dress baby

 

**Me**

You wouldn’t?

A lot of guys I've dated before have tried to change what I wear

It's why I always wear hoodies and jeans. Just makes it easier.

 

**Grantaire**

People who try and change their partners are idiots

I have complete trust in you to go out dressed however you want and not get with other people. You’re attractive and knowing you’re mine and not theirs at the end of the day is all that matters

I’m thirty years old. I’m never going to be in a relationship dictated by control and jealousy again, and if I ever overstep, just tell me and I'll stop.

 

**Me**

That’s hot

What have I come to, that trust in a relationship is hot to me?

I trust you too, by the way. It just annoys me I can’t see your ass in a suit every day while all these strangers do

Do you wear those jogging bottoms in public?

 

**Grantaire**

No, for obvious reasons. Why?

 

**Me**

You should wear them to mine tonight 

 

**Grantaire**

Say please

 

**Me**

Pretty please?

 

**Grantaire**

We’ll see

 

**Me**

Asshole

_ [image] _

_ [[snacks.jpeg.](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/L52dVwMJTEc/maxresdefault.jpg)] _

 

**Grantaire**

What the fuck is that picture from?

 

**Me**

this! <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L52dVwMJTEc>

It’s almost as good as wasabi girl

Oh dear

The guy that groped me is following me I’m texting Jehan to come get me

 

**Grantaire**

Baby are you okay?

 

**Grantaire**

Enjolras seriously I’m panicking

 

**Me**

Sorry sorry there was a fight

_ [image] _

Big strong men came to save me

Also Bahorel is here I guess

He’s literally carrying all of my shopping bags you better step up your game taire or I’ll be leaving you for him

 

**Grantaire**

I think Bahorel already has his hands full. Also if he touches you I’ll break his nose again

 

**Me**

Ooo that makes me all TINGLY

 

**Grantaire**

Stop being sarcastic, Enjolras

I have to finish something up, but I’ll text you when I leave. 

 

**Me**

Good give me a warning once you leave your flat so i can prep dinner, see you then

 

*-*

 

**Grantaire**

Leaving a bit earlier than planned, is that okay? Finished working from home early.

 

**Me**

Sure! I’ll shower and put food in afterwards

See you soon :)

 

*-*

 

**Grantaire**

Downstairs

 

*-*

 

**_nEW YEAR NEW ME_ ** (10 members)

 

Happy new year from the Khan family!

_ [image] _

_ [image] _

**courgetta** @chettakhan

 

Courf wants me to tell you you all look cute

Happy new year everyone <3

_ [image] _

**fairy** @mothmanferre

 

HPPY NW YR

_ [image] _

W CSTTE

**marius** @p0ntmrcy500

 

Aw Marius! You both look adorable xx

**courgetta** @chettakhan

 

Happy new year everyone!

_ [image] _

**feuilly** @feelmyfury

 

now we just have to wait for mclovin to message

**jejeje** @prouvaireit

 

I resent that nickname

Happy new year everyone

_ [image] _

Grantaire says happy new year too :)

**enjolras** @enjibenji69

 

*-*

 

**Grantaire**

Thank you for having me. It was probably the most I’ve enjoyed a new years Eve in a while and I didn’t even drink. 

Also

Check your bank account

 

**Me**

I enjoyed it too, thank you for keeping me company

And… everything else

Wait what

 

**Me**

GRANTAIRE

THAT’S SO MUCH

 

**Grantaire**

It’s my last apology, I promise. I know everything has changed between us, but I don’t want you to not have money. And now I have your bank details so you can’t exactly reject it, okay? I care about you, Enjolras.

 

**Me**

Urgh

Fine

I care about you too

Is this why you were going through my bag? I thought you looked suspicious

 

**Grantaire**

How could see if you didn't have glasses on?

 

**Me**

I'm short-sighted, not BLIND

I can’t believe you sent me exactly £6969.69

How am I the baby in this relationship

This is a relationship right? 

 

**Grantaire**

Unless I got the wrong idea completely, yes, this is a relationship. 

And being a baby has nothing to do with a person’s ability to make a well timed immature joke while also providing for their partner.

 

**Me**

I love being a kept man

 

**Me**

<3

 

**Grantaire**

<3

 

*-*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end//take a bow
> 
> This may be OOC and mushy mushy gross to some people but I don’t care, it was therapeutic.
> 
> This document ended up being 73 page and I just want to say that formatting this fic has been the most soothing thing in the world. If you’re ever going through writer’s drought (sounds bettter than block)- me, for months- just start writing everything as a text fic and it’ll (hopefully) help. 
> 
> This is my first time writing anything fanfic related and releasing it in a GOOD few years (probably since 2016), so please be kind. I have more planned for this series and some other fics I'm writing and hope to release in the next few months.

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter
> 
> Curious Cat


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